Mind the Gap

From New York City to London

I’d much prefer an Irish exit.

A view from the William Vale in Williamsburg (2021)

Just slip away unnoticed.

But a change like this demands a proper goodbye. A final chance to see this life with clear eyes.

This exercise, writing this essay you’re reading, it’s too difficult.

And I’m too earnest. Maybe that’s why I need to go.

So here’s my attempt to explain why my husband, Sam, and I are leaving New York for London.

I won’t speak for Sam, but for me, it’s unclear why I feel so strongly that my time in this city has expired.

Part of me blames the disorder and sheer expense of New York. How do the two coexist so inseparably here?

It often feels lawless and yet too expensive for creatives and the working class to survive. The streets feel disorderly while the culture feels increasingly sanitized.

We live in a city that is for brands and finance, not people.

And what kind of city is that?

Another part of me blames the hustle culture and unbridled Americanness of MORE MORE MORE.

I am someone who identifies as ambitious and competitive, and not necessarily in a good way.

This city is full of money and status and a million people who are doing it all better than you, faster.

That’s exactly the kind of environment that makes my anxiety spiral.

I guess it’s not really any of the above, though. It’s just easier to find blame.

I think I just want something different.

Me and Sam (2014)

Sam and I have lived for 10+ years within two square blocks in Williamsburg.

I’ve seen our neighborhood go from grungy to trendy. I’ve seen new parks being built and our favorite gay bars close (TNT, we will always love you). I’ve only known some pretty horrible mayors.

Most would agree that there’s no place quite like New York. Many New Yorkers would argue that other American cities feel like a cultural wasteland in comparison.

Greatest city in the world, they say.

I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I am not looking for the greatest anymore, which feels uncomfortably close to giving up.

But it’s true, I don’t want the best, or the most, or anything of the sort.

Now listen— London ain’t half bad either.

June 2023 in London

This past August, Sam and I visited the UK as a sort of test to see if we could live there. We’ve both been a half dozen times, but never with the intention of moving.

I joined a group run on a whim and discussed it with some new British friends.

“I think I want to move to slow down and be a little less stressed,” I explained.

“And you’re moving to London to do that!?”

Yeah, the plan doesn’t fully make sense in that regard. London is a very expensive city, a bustling center of commerce and culture.

It’s kind of like New York through a funhouse mirror—recognizable, but different enough to be disorienting.

I view it as having a lot of what New York is missing.

Running by highways and through construction sites is all part of the fun…right?

More protected bike lanes, less population density, rules that people abide by (they do love rules, don’t they?), and of course, free museums.

It’s almost like they maintain that the residents are more important than business!

Oh, and did I mention the parks!?

I’m sorry, but I’m ready to admit that New York can be a nightmare for a runner. If you don’t live by Central or Prospect Park, you will be waiting at street lights and you will be pushed off a sidewalk into a bike lane.

If I have to do one more tempo run broken up by an unhinged Uber driver, I swear to God…

Sometimes I think that my life dream is to simply run free. That’s it! I just want to step out my door and run without fear of getting run over. And what I really want is to run among greenery—fresh, open fields or shaded forests. Put that in a city and I may just be forever happy.

In other words: London calling (sorry, had to).

Other than that, I can’t explain why London other than the fact that I just really, really like it.

Beyond where we’re moving, this is more about the process itself.

I maintain that the boats in Central Park are the best touristy thing a New Yorker could do.

Without a new perspective, how can I truly appreciate what I’ve had?

How am I supposed to grow when the challenges all seem to be of the same breed?

I’m not afraid of starting over and I’ve never feared being the new guy. I believe, and I hope, that I only have things to gain from this.

Leaving behind family, friends, and a beautiful, expansive life like this is never easy.

Like waving to someone from a subway car just as the doors close, only this time, I’m leaving the platform for good.

It honestly hurts too much to write, thinking about the people that I won’t be able to join on a morning run. The friends we run into at the grocery store. The family passing through.

But the evolution is already underway and it’s time for the next chapter.

Try as I may to exit quietly, leaving something you love is never that simple.

Whatever happens, I know that I will always have a home right here.

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Want to talk about running? About coaching? Email me at brian@greatdayforrunners.com.

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